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standards

So, because Korey is leaving us in June (*sob!*) I’m starting to search for a new babysitter or babysitters, as the case may be.  And I’ll tell ya, it was a LOT easier looking for babysitters before we knew Korey.

There are many superficial qualities that I’m looking for – like, I’ll only consider younger women (we’re talking 18 through early 20s).  One, I like their energy and two, upon discovering how opinionated and judgmental women get about pregnancy, birth, mothering, etc, the last thing I want is someone my age or older who is a mother and might not agree with things I do.  Or even an older women who’s been taking care of children for 20 years and thinks they know enough to tell me what they think about things.  I also, sadly, can’t bring myself to have a male babysitter.  I’ve seen profiles of one or two who sound really great, but I just can’t do it.  But, this is my kid we’re talking about, so I’m allowed to have all the biases I want.

But the one thing that I can’t do a search filter for is personality, and that’s the one thing I’m really looking for.  That’s the one thing I’m going to be incredibly fussy about now.  I have (or, had) a back up babysitter for Korey and she’s absolutely fine.  She’s nice & a good person and I’m sure would never let any harm come to Felix.  I should give her more of a chance, really.  But then I compare.  Korey’s got a warmth about her, and genuinely seemed to like & care about Felix from the moment they met, whereas the other one is nice & thinks he’s cute, but that warmth is missing.  So that’s what I’m looking for now.  I want warmth, not just “I’ll watch over him.”  Sigh.  Very daunting task.  If only we could keep Korey around forever and ever…

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don’t drop the baby

A proper update on Nugget soon, but first, I really want to put this out there:

I don’t support the whole passing-the-baby around thing AT ALL.  I believe that babies – particularly my son – are people in their own right and deserve to be treated as such.  They deserve as much space & consideration as you would give an adult or someone who can speak and CHOOSE to say “pick me up” or “put me down.”

It can be overwhelming to suddenly be surrounded by many new faces & then passed around like a toy, particularly for a baby who may be tired and has recently traveled a long distance.  People may say that he’s “fine”, but as a mother who is very attuned to her child & who often talks about what he likes and prefers – I know him best.  Do not challenge me.

I’m angry at myself for not being more vocal about this at the appropriate moments.  I should have been more protective and I certainly should have demanded more respect for myself, as the mother.  ALWAYS ask first and defer to the mother.  ALWAYS. And if someone doesn’t back off after being asked, that’s about as disrespectful & rude as a person can get.

It’s my fault for not saying something immediately, but I’m saying it now.  I will not allow my child to be passed around.  If you want to hold him, you ask me first (excluding grandparents, of course.)  If you want to argue with me about it, sucks to be you.  When it comes to my child, I make the rules.  How would other people feel if I came in and challenged & ignored the ways they raise their children?  And I guarantee you, I probably disagree with most of them.  If you want to hold him, and I sense that you’re making it all about you & not about wanting to be close to my son, then the answer will be NO.  He is not a toy.  He is not a novelty.  He is not a cute, fluffy little creature to be tossed about for others’ amusement.

I don’t care what anyone thinks of me for saying this, because my priority is MY SON.  I think it’s sad that everyone doesn’t respect their babies as real people with a sense of self, personal space, and boundaries.  My son will be all the better for it.

So.  The lesson for today?  Unless you are a grandparent of said child, don’t even think about picking him up unless you’ve asked and gotten the ok to do so.  Just think of me as a mother bear, but more dangerous.

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This weekend, Felix & Chris begin their “Musical Expressions for Babies” class.  I’d gotten a catalog of classes offered by our county community center and when I saw this, I knew it would be the perfect thing for him to do with Nugget.  Get all that noise out of their system and all.  (Huh.  Wishful thinking, on my part, that they’ll “get it out of their system.”  I know darn well that they’ll probably only be inspired to make even more noise.) :

Ages 1 month to 15 months with parent. Play musically with your baby through bouncing and rocking songs, wiggle and peek-a-boo games, and dancing, moving, and singing! The foundation is laid for beat awareness, vocal production, and aural discrimination. A 45-minute class for parent and infant.

There would be times when Nugget would look so big, and then moments later, he’d look little again.  Usually while naked.  But now, even naked (which he looooooooooves to be), he looks big.  Little man is GROWIN’.  He’s a full 16 pounds now.  I suspect he had a small growth spurt because this past week, for 3 nights in a row he woke up at 3, 4 and 5:30 am.  (YAWN.)  And he was cranky & taking 3 hour naps during the afternoon.  But then, just like that it stopped.  Well… maybe.  He woke up at 6:30 this morning, so I can’t really tell just yet.  Really, Chris & I would be THRILLED at a 7 am schedule.  7am is nothing to sneeze at.  And, funny, that’s what parenthood does to you.  Once upone a time, we relished in sleeping till 11 am on weekends.  Now I’m ready to do somersaults about sleeping until 7.

He loves being held up in the air, like an airplane.  He giggles & squeals and he does this thing where he scrunches up his nose and opens his mouth real wide when he’s having a blast.

He’s got a million expressions & faces, as evidenced by the photos.  A million and one.  And, hey! He even flipped me the bird last week!  Did you see that picture?  He may look like his Daddy (it’s the eyebrows), but he’s got my personality (flipping the bird.)  Or not.  He’s awfully cheerful, and he definitely doesn’t get that from me.

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something to remember

A few days ago, I was holding Nugget up over my head -something he seems to love – and making kissy faces at him.

Mind you, he’d only eaten about 20 minutes before.

Well.  He spit up.  He spit up and it landed right in my mouth.  Not on it, but IN it.

Luckily, as gross as it was, even I could see the humor in the situation and promptly told everyone (raucous laughter abounded) and agreed with my mom that it was one for the books.

Ah, motherhood!

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Chamommmmmmmmmmmile

Note: Chamomile water = magical elixer.

When I say, “He doesn’t nap during the day,” you can’t possibly understand the weight of that statement or just how serious I am, without spending a day or two with him.  He never does longer than 20 minute spurts and even those not more than a couple times a day.

The pediatrician gave me a bottle of chamomile water, which is supposed to relax (read: sedate) babies.  Or anyone, really.  Ever had a cup of chamomile tea at night?

He’s been napping in his swing for… oh, a good couple hours now.  How does one go to a forced 20 minute catnap to two hours of sleeping?  MAGIC, that’s how.   Or maybe the probiotics I gave him settled his tummy down enough for him to sleep.  Or maybe a combination of the two.  Whatever.  He’s been napping and I’ve been able to sit here going through photos and blogging.

Chamomile water.  GOLD.

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we like it raw

I decided to copy my info about “raw” (unpasteurized) milk here, because I’ve turned into die hard evangelists when it comes to the stuff and am guessing I’ll be referencing it often in the future. ** Note, this was written while I was pregnant and still living in CA.

I’ll keep posting as I round up the links, but here’s a little bit of info to get started.

I should also add – raw milk isn’t cheap.  I was thrilled when I bought the milk at the farm out in Pennsylvania, because it was only $3.50 for a half gallon.  Out here in California, you’ll pay upwards of $5, sometimes $6. In Seattle, it’s just slightly cheaper.

At that price, I originally decided we can’t afford to be drinking it all the time.  Well, not “afford” – we can totally afford that.  I just decided it was too expensive.  Momentary lapse in judgment.  It’s worth it.

I’ve also stopped fussing about how much more expensive all the good, local stuff is since becoming more involved & learning about farming – small farmers are taxed heavily, sometimes fined for no damn reason, and watched like hawks by the FDA & government.  (Though… yeah, all the bad food – the ecoli, the recalls, the mad cow, has all come from LARGE, INDUSTRIAL FARMS.  Not small ones.  Again, another topic I could rant about for hours.)

Now, I’m terrible at remembering details and such, which is why it’s easier for me to just point you towards some information.  But, in a nutshell, pasteurization destroys most of what’s good in milk.  (Don’t even get me started on this low fat/skim bullshit – it has to be whole or it’s pointless to drink it at all.  All that lovely fat in milk is part of what helps your body absorb the calcium.  I can point you towards tons of information about that, and why fat isn’t bad and does not MAKE you fat, as well.)

So.  Natural, whole, unpasteurized, straight from the cow milk is one of the most nutritionally complete, healthiest things you can drink.  In the book Real Food: What to Eat and Why, Planck talks a lot about the building blocks of milk & all it’s many components.  Compare to human breast milk, which is the most perfect & nutritionally complete food you can give to babies.  There is formula out there, indeed, but they have yet to be able to completely rebuild & make a complete source of nutrition that matches breast milk.

If you’re vegan, you may say something about how we’re the only creature that drinks the milk of other species… blah blah blah.  Yeah, I guess we are.  But clearly I’m not going to convince you to drink raw milk if you won’t even drink milk, so just stop reading right now, ok?

Part of all that nutrition in milk is it’s astounding immunity-building properties.  Far from being dangerous, as the conventional medical community would have you believe – raw milk is actually a WONDERFUL thing for pregnant women to drink, because not only does it build your own immunity, but you pass that on to baby AND it’s also been shown to help strengthen & prepare your body (uterus) for birth.

Now, even if you drink whole PASTEURIZED milk, the fact is that pasteurization simply kills & lessens most of what’s in milk.  Vitamin D has to injected back into the milk after it’s pasteurized (look at the labels, sometimes you’ll see something like, “with Vitamin D” on the carton – now, why would they have to tell you that?  Wouldn’t you normally assume your milk has Vitamin D?  Nope.)  There’s also evidence to suggest that synthetic vitamins like that are toxic in large doses, as well.

On large, industrial farms, the cows are forced to go against nature, giving milk far more than they normally would.  With or without the hormones, this isn’t good.  This often causes mastitis, a painful, gross condition that causes their udders to produce pus, which gets into your milk.  “Luckily,” pasteurization gets rid of those germs, but I, for one, would rather have milk that pus was not removed from.

If you look at government Agriculture websites, they’ll tell you that it’s a myth that pasteurization causes lactose intolerance.  However, my friend Jeanine has always been lactose intolerant.  Since she started drinking raw milk – no problems.  She makes her own yogurt & ice cream and eats as much as she wants without getting sick.  (Pasteurization destroys milk at a cellular level, exploding enzymes and releasing them – the very ones which cause intolerance.)    I’ve read about quite a few people experience this – their lactose intolerance magically disappears when drinking raw.

You may have also sometimes seen the label “ultra pasteurized” – avoid that like the plague.  It is what it sounds like, super pasteurization, and it ruins your milk even more so than regular pasteurization.

Then there’s homogenization.  I suppose homogenization itself isn’t so horrible, but I like my creamy goodness.  Homogenization forces milk through micro-fine mesh, forcing all the molecules to blend together for one uniform consistency in your dairy products.  Milk that is NOT homogenized will have that lovely cream that rises to the top.  I love that cream.  It sticks to the cap of my raw milk bottles and I lick it off every time.

Taste?  Fabulous.  I was never a big milk drinker, but since drinking raw milk, I happily chug a big glass of it every day.  It’s wonderful on cereal, my mom loved it in her chai tea.  My Dad commented that it tasted like it had substance.  And mom even said that it didn’t leave that disgusting film in your mouth like pasteurized milk does.  It is DELICIOUS.

Now.  Let’s talk about safety.  “But unpasteurized milk is dangerous!  You’re pregnant, you shouldn’t be drinking it!”

No.  Pasteurized milk is perfectly safe – even more so – so long as, with any food, you get it from a reputable farm.  Just like sushi.  Would you buy sushi that’s been sitting out from some skeevy looking guy on a dirty street?  No.  Would you buy unwrapped cookies from some woman sneezing into her hands & wiping her nose as she hands you said cookies?  No.  There are many farms out there that are certified to sell raw milk – I had the pleasure of going to that one in Pennsylvania and said hello to the Jersey cow (the best ones for raw milk) that produced it.  While the farmer poured the milk into jugs for me, she cut off a piece of mozzarella cheese that they’d just finished making the night before.  AND offered me some fresh goat cheese with basil and sea salt.  Out in CA, I can either drive out to Glendale every Saturday, where a Organic Pastures comes out with a truck load of raw milk, raw cheddar cheese, and raw butter.  I hear tell there’s a guy who sells it at the Market on 3rd Street Promenade, on Wednesdays – I’ve yet to check him out because I don’t like getting up early or fighting crowds, unfortunately.  So usually, for convenience sake, I pick up glass bottles of it from Whole Foods – from a Claravale Farms.

As you can see on Claravale’s website:

It’s high quality, Jersey milk. Claravale Farm milk comes from Jersey cows. This breed is world renowned for the quality of its milk, which contains higher concentrations of proteins, solids, butterfat, and beta-caroteen than other breeds. Milk sold in supermarkets comes mostly from Holsteins, which produce larger quantities of more watery milk. Due to their breeding, Holstein milk also contains higher levels of Bovine Growth Hormone than Jersey milk.

I’ve read A LOT about milk lately, and it’s true – Jersey cows are the best.  I’ve tasted the difference, as well.  My mom’s been teasing me lately that she could see me winding up working on a farm, or having us buy an old farmhouse with me going out to milk cows while Mr Nikki goes off to work.  I’m kinda in love with Jersey cows.  Are you kidding?  I’d LOVE to have one in my back yard.

The Claravale milk is quite good and I drink it every day.  Admittedly, though, there’s just something less thrilling about getting my milk from a grocery store, versus the farm itself.  But, can’t be helped.  Though their milk comes in these wonderful glass bottles, which I keep & wash after the milk is gone & I have row upon row of them in my kitchen, for storing beans, rice, pasta, etc.

Now, as I was saying – safety.  There have been more illnesses & recalls on pasteurized milk than ever on raw milk.  Pasteurization is a holdover from the dark ages.  People were getting sick from milk – and many other foods – due to extremely poor conditions everywhere.  Dirty farms, plague, sickly cows.  So they started pasteurizing the milk and people stopped getting sick from it.

Farming conditions have changed today.  Vastly.  If you know anything about real farmers & whole foods, you’ll know that those people take what they do very seriously.  They love what they do.  They love the foods they produce.  The farms are clean, their cows healthier (far more so than the cows on industrial farms kept standing in their own waste & dripping pus into your milk as they’re forced to produce milk 24/7.)

I drank raw milk throughout my pregnancy and I’m FINE.  Better than fine.  I also intend to raise Nugget on raw milk – it is SO GOOD for children.  It helps build their little immune systems as well as giving them so much more nutrition than any of the pasteurized stuff you could give them.  (And never, ever, ever give your children skim or low fat milk.)  There’s also been a LOT of evidence and many testimonials from people who’ve eased or erased their digestion problems, allergies, and gluten allergies after drinking raw milk.

Raw milk is also in serious jeopardy.  It’s illegal in 13 states.  There are legislatures constantly cropping up that could make the production of raw milk absolutely impossible.  There’s actually quite a bit of legislature out there that makes zero sense, in regards to organic farms, small farms, etc.

In any case.  That’s a very long post and a bit of information, but a few links and resources to continue on with:

He doesn’t talk about raw milk, per se, however, both of Michael Pollan’s books are fabulous resources in regard to food & what you’re eating.  In particular, In Defense of Food and The Omnivore’s Dilemma. I just finished Real Food: What to Eat and Why by Nina Planck & I’m flabbergasted.  She’s why I want to start cooking with marrow and organ meats.  She talks A LOT about milk – raw & whole, and it’s benefits.

Some links:

A blurb about another article in Forbes Magazine, in which raw milk is listed as one of the healthiest foods on earth.

RawMilk.org – all about this liquid gold

Organic Pastures – a page of information about “Why raw?”

The Complete Patient – all about farming & health, with a lot of info about milk & dairy farms

SaveRawMilk.org – information about the legal battles & how to help save raw milk

Food Renegade article about raw milk

Article about addition of disgusting milk proteins to milk you buy in stores

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mouth wide open

5

Today we went to one of those ultrasound places and paid for more pictures – and a DVD! – of Nugget.  Just cause, ya know, we wanted to see him again.

As you can see, the 4D pictures are… neat, but kinda weird & creepy, no?  I’m pretty sure he has my nose & Chris’s mouth.

Oh, he has Chris’s mouth, alright – we watched him move around, open his mouth, and try to eat his hand.  There was a  lot of mouth opening.  I’ll bet anything he’ll be in there talking to himself for the next 3 months.  Talking to himself and just making lots of noise in general.  Cause he’s his father’s son.

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appointments

Inquiring minds want to know: next appointment is Tuesday, August 11.  Nothing special, though, just a regular check-up.

We’re contemplating going to one of those ultrasound shops where you pay $50 for more ultrasounds, just to have.  (Now, THERE’S a racket, huh?  People will pay anything when it comes to their kids.)  You have a couple ultrasound appointments, then start to feel a little ripped off during non ultrasound appointments at the doctor when all they do is say, “How are you feeling?  Good?  Good.  See you in 4 weeks.”  That’s IT?  Pictures, please!  We want to see him bouncing around!

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don’t touch

It seems I might actually look PREGNANT finally, as opposed to just looking oddly misshapen.  Two women, yesterday, asked me when I was due.

I can’t help but think how fun it would be, one of these times, to recoil in horror and cry, “I’m not pregnant!”

I also worry that if women have started asking me when I’m due, that means people might start trying to touch me soon.  God help the first strange, random person who reaches out to touch my stomach.  I might have to reach out to touch them. Though it’ll probably feel less like a touch and more like a slap.

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registries and such

People keep asking what we need.  Honestly?  I’ve very little idea.    I have a registry on Amazon.com (click here to view).  Some things on there I know we need, others I just want.

However, I’m a fanatic about organic, natural products – so I only request that anything you might purchase be organic and as natural as possible (creams, lotions, washes, etc) and anything plastic be BPA-free.  Please note that I will only be using glass bottles, not plastic.  Also, I’ll be using a cloth diaper service so diapers aren’t necessary except as back-up and in that case, I’ve chosen 7th Generation chloring and bleach-free disposeables.

Other than that… umm… we need what, a million onesies?  Toys, blankets, etc.  Clothing?  Oy, I guess we need a bunch of clothing, too.