Monthly Archives: April 2010

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all through the night

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SUCCESS!

Well, I say this now, but ask me again next week.

After the most torturous couple weeks of non-sleep (for us), it finally occurred to me that maybe – just maybe – if we taped up the stupid, ghetto, handmade skylights in the bedroom so that we didn’t all get drowned in sunlight at the crack of dawn every morning, Nugget might stay asleep.  I, personally, did not appreciate the light, either.  I am of the firm belief that bedroom should be dark, dark, dark.

Well, we taped them up and he’s been sleeping from around 10-10:30p until AT LEAST 8, sometimes 9, every morning this week.  Let’s hope this lasts.  But I’ve a strong feeling it will. And I don’t have a thing to complain about now.

My biggest fear about having a baby has always been that we’d have one of those babies that always woke up at 5 or 6 and you couldn’t break them of it.  Really.  My BIGGEST fear.  Because as long as I’ve had sleep, I can handle just about anything.

Life suddenly seems very easy.

People keep telling us to enjoy this age because it’s the best age, and once they start crawling, all bets are off.  I’ve already realized this – that this is a fabulous age.  He’s really not all that high maintenance, as far as babies go.  Most of the day he hangs out in his seat while I cook/do stuff on my laptop/do other things.  Or he naps.  Or he lays on his play mat.  Or he sits in our laps and observes.

And that right there is part of the reason I don’t want a second one.  There is NO WAY that a child could be easier and more amicable than he is.  There are plenty of ways that another one could be supremely difficult.  Let’s say, such as being the baby that has to wake up at 6 every day?  (I know, some of you are scoffing at that because a LOT of people get up at 6 or earlier every day just for work.  But at night, I’m on Chris’s schedule, which means I don’t go to bed until I’ve seen him for a few hours.  And look, I can’t help it.  I’m not just “not a morning person” like some people don’t like mornings.  I’m not a morning person in the respect that waking up early leaves me feeling drugged up, inhuman, and disconnected from the world.  So if I can get up anytime after 7, that’s a huge help.)

And it’s also helpful for Chris, who works long & hard hours at work.  Being able to stay in bed till the alarm goes off is a huge help for him, as well.  Quite frankly, after the year we’ve had, I think we deserve to sleep past 7 for awhile.

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the littlest traveler

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5-mos-and-hipstamatic-189Felix & I flew aaaaaaall the way across the country last week.  It was 4.5 hours to Philly and was supposed to be 6 hours back, but luckily, was only 5.

I was a little nervous, having to manage him alone.  Luckily, the worst part was getting through security.  And, by the way – HI, AIRPORT SECURITY.  YOU ARE SO NOT HELPFUL.  I was, for once, immensely thankful for the kindness of other mothers.  One woman saw me struggling to hang on to Felix while getting myself strapped back into the infant carrier.  She held him & then did the straps up for me.  Actually – it wasn’t just the women.  In Philly, a man saw me struggling & while he didn’t hold Felix, he did help me with the buckles of the carrier.

Also, on the flight to Philly, I was absolutely stunned at how nice people were.  We boarded first, then everyone who came on and sat around us paused to admire Felix and then tell me “not to worry about us,” that they’d all “been there, done that” and if I needed any help, just ask.

The stewardesses each way, however… What the…?  Grouchy, grumpy, didn’t smile at him once (even though he was perfect) and even got annoyed with me for standing in the aisle with him.

In any case.  On the way to Philly he just grumbled a few times about being tired, but either slept or hung out in my lap just taking it all in.

5-mos-and-hipstamatic-194On the way back to Seattle, he was crying (tired) as we approached the boarding area and I caught all the wary looks.  But wouldn’t you know, he was PERFECT.  He slept about 90% of the way – the flight wasn’t full and I was able to give him his very own seat next to me.  After we landed and everyone stood up to get off, every single person around us made a point of telling me how impressed they were.  The woman in front of me (who I’d noticed trying to find a new seat before we took off) said she thought he was going to scream the whole way.  Another guy said he wished that Felix was the baby that had been on his previous flight.  Another guy said that his wife was going to be flying with their 5 month old and 2 year old son and he hoped that they were as good as Felix.

That’s my boy!

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don’t drop the baby

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A proper update on Nugget soon, but first, I really want to put this out there:

I don’t support the whole passing-the-baby around thing AT ALL.  I believe that babies – particularly my son – are people in their own right and deserve to be treated as such.  They deserve as much space & consideration as you would give an adult or someone who can speak and CHOOSE to say “pick me up” or “put me down.”

It can be overwhelming to suddenly be surrounded by many new faces & then passed around like a toy, particularly for a baby who may be tired and has recently traveled a long distance.  People may say that he’s “fine”, but as a mother who is very attuned to her child & who often talks about what he likes and prefers – I know him best.  Do not challenge me.

I’m angry at myself for not being more vocal about this at the appropriate moments.  I should have been more protective and I certainly should have demanded more respect for myself, as the mother.  ALWAYS ask first and defer to the mother.  ALWAYS. And if someone doesn’t back off after being asked, that’s about as disrespectful & rude as a person can get.

It’s my fault for not saying something immediately, but I’m saying it now.  I will not allow my child to be passed around.  If you want to hold him, you ask me first (excluding grandparents, of course.)  If you want to argue with me about it, sucks to be you.  When it comes to my child, I make the rules.  How would other people feel if I came in and challenged & ignored the ways they raise their children?  And I guarantee you, I probably disagree with most of them.  If you want to hold him, and I sense that you’re making it all about you & not about wanting to be close to my son, then the answer will be NO.  He is not a toy.  He is not a novelty.  He is not a cute, fluffy little creature to be tossed about for others’ amusement.

I don’t care what anyone thinks of me for saying this, because my priority is MY SON.  I think it’s sad that everyone doesn’t respect their babies as real people with a sense of self, personal space, and boundaries.  My son will be all the better for it.

So.  The lesson for today?  Unless you are a grandparent of said child, don’t even think about picking him up unless you’ve asked and gotten the ok to do so.  Just think of me as a mother bear, but more dangerous.

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This weekend, Felix & Chris begin their “Musical Expressions for Babies” class.  I’d gotten a catalog of classes offered by our county community center and when I saw this, I knew it would be the perfect thing for him to do with Nugget.  Get all that noise out of their system and all.  (Huh.  Wishful thinking, on my part, that they’ll “get it out of their system.”  I know darn well that they’ll probably only be inspired to make even more noise.) :

Ages 1 month to 15 months with parent. Play musically with your baby through bouncing and rocking songs, wiggle and peek-a-boo games, and dancing, moving, and singing! The foundation is laid for beat awareness, vocal production, and aural discrimination. A 45-minute class for parent and infant.

There would be times when Nugget would look so big, and then moments later, he’d look little again.  Usually while naked.  But now, even naked (which he looooooooooves to be), he looks big.  Little man is GROWIN’.  He’s a full 16 pounds now.  I suspect he had a small growth spurt because this past week, for 3 nights in a row he woke up at 3, 4 and 5:30 am.  (YAWN.)  And he was cranky & taking 3 hour naps during the afternoon.  But then, just like that it stopped.  Well… maybe.  He woke up at 6:30 this morning, so I can’t really tell just yet.  Really, Chris & I would be THRILLED at a 7 am schedule.  7am is nothing to sneeze at.  And, funny, that’s what parenthood does to you.  Once upone a time, we relished in sleeping till 11 am on weekends.  Now I’m ready to do somersaults about sleeping until 7.

He loves being held up in the air, like an airplane.  He giggles & squeals and he does this thing where he scrunches up his nose and opens his mouth real wide when he’s having a blast.

He’s got a million expressions & faces, as evidenced by the photos.  A million and one.  And, hey! He even flipped me the bird last week!  Did you see that picture?  He may look like his Daddy (it’s the eyebrows), but he’s got my personality (flipping the bird.)  Or not.  He’s awfully cheerful, and he definitely doesn’t get that from me.